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The Phoenix Dances in the Nine Heavens Chapter 13


Chapter 13 – The wind and waves of the Sea of Vinegar

Lu Xiaofeng has had beef soup.

He has always liked eating beef soup, but now he wanted to vomit. Because his stomach contracted, and his heart was sinking.

Could it be that everything was a game played by the ‘Beef Soup’? Like the kind of game a cat would play after it catches the mouse?

Finally the steam gradually scattered.

Lu Xiaofeng found a pair of eyes outside, looking in at them from the crack on the chest. The eyes were shining with some kind of mischievous smile.

Unexpectedly someone was singing outside, “Knock, knock, knock, please open the door. Who’s there? I am the old rooster. What do you want? I am here to deliver beef soup, so that when the little chicks drink it, they will be strong, not afraid of wind, not afraid of waves.” [Translator’s note: in Chinese, the words ‘soup’, ‘strong’, and ‘waves’ rhyme.]

Lu Xiaofeng was stunned again. The singing voice did not belong to Beef Soup at all. Even when Lu Xiaofeng sang his nursery rhyme, his singing voice would be a bit better than this. Perhaps in the whole wide world, there was nobody who could sing worse than this man.

Honest Monk!

Lu Xiaofeng quickly pushed the lid open. Someone was squatting outside, holding a bowl of beef soup with both hands. It was indeed Honest Monk.

Just now he was obviously bound and hung from the beam. How come now he was down there?

Honest Monk winked. He said, “Monk is honest, Bodhisattva bless and protect Monk!”

This kind of matter was indeed a bit mysterious, it really did not look like something within human’s power to do.

Lu Xiaofeng also winked, “I wonder if Bodhisattva also kills cow?”

Honest Monk instantly shook his head. “My Buddha abstains from killing life, how could Bodhisattva kill a cow?”

“So Bodhisattva also can’t possibly give Monk some beef soup?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“Of course not,” Honest Monk replied.

“In that case,” Lu Xiaofeng said, “Where did this beef soup come from?”

Honest Monk suddenly chuckled. “Why don’t you guess?” he said.

Lu Xiaofeng did not want to guess.

It was not the first time that he had seen the color and flavor of this bowl of beef soup, but he would rather see one big bowl of dog poo; he did not wish to see this sweet-smelling and rich beef soup.

Because he knew that only one person could cook this kind of beef soup.

— Only ‘Beef Soup’ can cook this kind of beef soup.

Honest Monk suddenly said, “This bowl of beef soup is from an old friend of yours, who asked the Monk to deliver it to you.”

“Oh?” Lu Xiaofeng said.

Honest Monk continued, “She said that these past two days the two of you must have toiled excessively, and that you must need something nourishing.” He seemed to blush a little, “This is not Monk’s words, Monk actually did not want to say it, but that friend of yours insisted that Monk pass it on to you.”

“Where is she?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

Honest Monk said, “She says she’ll be coming soon to see you, she says to tell you not to worry.”

With a straight face Lu Xiaofeng said, “I also have some things I’d like you to pass on to her.”

Honest Monk said, “Monk is all ears.”

Lu Xiaofeng said, “Tell her that I’d rather be with a b1tch [female dog] eating poo than seeing her, let alone drinking her beef soup.”

Suddenly from behind a stack of crates at the corner of the room someone sighed and said, “Such a nice man, why would he want to be with a b1tch eating poo?”

It was not Beef Soup’s voice either. The voice was very tender and lovely, it sounded like a very young girl’s voice.

Just as she finished speaking, sure enough, a very young girl really jumped out from behind the crates.

Lu Xiaofeng was immediately relieved. “Xiao Yu!” he cried out.

Giggling, Xiao Yu looked at him, she blinked her big eyes several times, and said, “Can you not be with a b1tch? Can you be with a [male] dog instead?”

“I can’t,” Lu Xiaofeng replied.

“Why?” Xiao Yu asked.

“Because I want to be with you.” Lu Xiaofeng replied.

Xiao Yu blushed.

Honest Monk suddenly said, “Why must you prevent him from being with a b1tch?”

“Because I was afraid Miss Man would drink vinegar,” Xiao Yu replied. [Reminder, ‘vinegar’ means jealousy.]

Lu Xiaofeng snatched the bowl of beef soup from Honest Monk’s hand and said, “You want to drink vinegar, I am going to drink beef soup.”

The beef soup was extremely tasty.

Lu Xiaofeng sighed and said, “Turns out Beef Soup is not the only one in the world who can cook this kind of beef soup.”

“Who else can?” Xiao Yu asked.

“You,” Lu Xiaofeng said.

“I can only eat,” Xiao Yu said.

“You did not make this?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“Not only I can eat,” Xiao Yu replied, “I can also steal. I stole this from the kitchen.”

“There is someone in the kitchen who can make this kind of beef soup?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“Only one person,” Xiao Yu replied.

“Who?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“Beef Soup,” Xiao Yu replied.

Lu Xiaofeng shut his mouth up.

Xiao Yu rolled her eyes and then said, “Actually, you ought to know, this time naturally she also get on board the ship.”

“Why must she come?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“Because I secretly hid a skiff,” Xiao Yu replied, “Therefore, she must knew that you are escaping on this ship; otherwise, how come they could not find you?” She sighed, and then continued, “It was because they could not find you that these past two days Ninth Young Master and Princess’ temper was really annoying. Fortunately they would never dream who did all these things.”

“So who did all these things?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

Xiao Yu pointed her forefinger toward her own nose.

“It was you?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“If not me, who else?” Xiao Yu said.

“The one who sent Sha Man here was you?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“Of course it was me,” Xiao Yu said.

“The one who hang Honest Monk was also you?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

“The one who let him down was also me,” Xiao Yu said.

Lu Xiaofeng stared at her in disbelieve, as if she had just sprouted two horns on her head.

Xiao Yu said, “You don’t believe I can do all those things?”

Honestly, Lu Xiaofeng did not believe the least bit.

Xiao Yu chuckled and said, “If even you do not believe, Ninth Young Master and Princess naturally do not believe even more.”

Lu Xiaofeng said, “Therefore, they did not suspect it to be you.”

“Not even in their dream,” Xiao Yu said.

Lu Xiaofeng sighed. He felt that the saying ‘you can’t judge a person by appearance’ was really true.

Right this moment, there was some strange gurgling noise somewhere in the hold. Everybody was startled, and then they found out that that ‘somewhere’ was actually Honest Monk’s tummy.

Xiao Yu laughed. She looked at his tummy and giggling incessantly.

With a red face Honest Monk said, “What’s so funny? Monk is also human, when the tummy is hungry, it can cry out.”

Xiao Yu said sweetly, “But Monk’s tummy’s crying sounds especially pleasant to hear.”

“But Monk does not like to hear it the least bit,” Honest Monk said.

“So what does Monk like?” Xiao Yu asked.

“Monk only likes to watch,” Honest Monk replied.

“Watch what?” Xiao Yu asked.

Honest Monk said, “Watching mantou [steamed bun], salted vegetabled, dried radish … As long as it can be eaten, Monk loves to watch.”

“Is beef soup not nice to watch?” Xiao Yu asked.

“Monk does not eat non-vegetarian food,” Honest Monk replied.

“In that case,” Xiao Yu said, “Monk can only have hungry tummy, can only listen to your tummy crying out.” And then she turned to Sha Man, “Miss Man does not eat beef soup too?”

“I don’t,” Sha Man replied.

“Miss Man is not hungry?” Xiao Yu asked.

“Not hungry,” Sha Man replied, “Even if I am, I won’t eat.”

Xiao Yu laughed again, “Turns out Miss Man has eaten vinegar. Turns out eating vinegar can also make you full.”

Honest Monk suddenly grabbed the beef soup and said, “She does not eat, I’ll eat.”

“Since when did Monk start eating non-vegetarian food?” Xiao Yu asked.

“When I am hungry like crazy,” Honest Monk replied.

Mouthful by mouthful he ate. And when he was tired eating, he sighed and said, “Wine and meat already entered the intestines, Buddha sat in the heart. Monk ate a bit of beef soup, actually it doesn’t matter.”

Lu Xiaofeng could not help laughing. “Indeed it doesn’t matter,” he said.

Honest Monk suddenly sprang up and loudly said, “It does.”

“What’s the matter?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

Honest Monk said, “It frighteningly matters, Monk …” before he even finished, he fell face up on his back, with white foams appearing on the corners of his mouth.

Immediately Lu Xiaofeng also felt that his head was a bit dizzy. With faltering voice he said, “There’s drug in the bowl of soup.”

Xiao Yu’s countenance changed, “Who put the drug?” she asked.

“I was just about to ask you,” Lu Xiaofeng said.

He wanted to stand up and pounce on her, but unfortunately his limbs had turned numb and soft.

Xiao Yu kept shaking her head, “I didn’t do it, it wasn’t me …” she said.

Looking at Lu Xiaofeng’s fiendish expression, she was so scared that she wanted to run away. Too bad Sha Man had already blocked her way out.

“If it wasn’t you, then who?” she coldly said.

Xiao Yu did not know.

But there was someone outside the door answering, “It wasn’t she, it was me.”

On the earth, there was only one person who could cook this kind of beef soup. Naturally there was also only one person who could put drug in the soup. It was Beef Soup herself.

The beef soup Beef Soup produced was very sweet-smelling and nice-looking. She herself was also very sweet-smelling, and very nice-looking. Especially today.

It looked like she made special effort to dress-up today. She wore bright-colored and well-fitting clothes. The rouge on her face was neither thick nor tasteless. As it turned out, her makeup matched very well with her personality.

It was only today that Lu Xiaofeng found out that not only she knew how to dress, she was also very adept at putting makeup on her face!

Although Lu Xiaofeng did not drink the soup too much, right now his head was dizzy, his eyes shone with lewdness, as if he was drunk with wine. “I know you can’t possibly treat me like this,” he suddenly yelled.

“Oh?” Beef Soup said.

Lu Xiaofeng said, “You are dressing up especially for me to see, I’m sure you won’t do that to me.”

With a grim expression Beef Soup said coldly, “Of course I won’t do that to you. I just want you to be with a b1tch eating poo.”

Turned out she had been here for quite some time, perhaps she even came here with Xiao Yu. But looking at Xiao Yu, it was obvious that that was not the case.

Xiao Yu appeared to be scared to death; practically, she looked like she was about to faint any time. She was thinking of sneaking out.

Beef Soup simply ignored her.

The ship was in the middle of the ocean. Those on the ship, where could they run to?

Xiao Yu seemed to also understand this logic. Not only she did not slip out, she slammed the cabin door instead.

Beef Soup quickly turned around, glowered at her, and said sternly, “What do you think you are doing?”

“I am not doing anything,” Xiao Yu replied, “I just want you to accompany the Monk drinking the soup!”

There was still half a bowl of beef soup.

Xiao Yu said, “This beef soup is very good, it would be a pity if you don’t finish it.”

Beef Soup’s countenance changed. Even if the rouge on her face was wiped off a little bit, other people would still be unable to see. Unfortunately the makeup on her face was neither too thick nor too thin. It was just enough for other people to see that her countenance had changed.

Sha Man’s countenance did not change. Her face has always been pale, but her as-sharp-as-blade eyes were fixed on Beef Soup.

Although Xiao Yu was smiling, her smile also concealed a blade in it.

They understood Beef Soup very well. On the earth, very few people understood Beef Soup like they did. This fact, naturally Beef Soup herself also understood very well.

She looked at Xiao Yu. “Do you dare?” she asked.

Xiao Yu said, “Why don’t I?” She smiled before continuing, “I can see clearly that you are scared; because you originally thought that we are afraid of you. But we are not afraid; therefore, you are scared.”

What she said sounded complicated, but the logic behind it was actually very simple.

— You are not afraid of me, I am scared of you.

Interpersonal relationship is oftentimes like that.

Sha Man slowly took out a very thin steel wire from the lining of the lapel of her gown, and she played with it in her hands.

Steel wire was thin, but very tough and durable. The metal flickered under the light.

Her hands were slender but powerful. Very soon the steel wire in Sha Man’s hand would turn into a silhouette of dancing swordswoman, the sharp end was the sword.

Her finger plucked lightly, the sword style changed indeterminately.

Xiao Yu sweetly said, “I can’t imagine Miss Man’s swordsmanship is this good.”

Sha Man nonchalantly said, “The things that are unimaginable in this world are indeed too many.”

Beef Soup no longer said anything. Immediately she walked over and drank the rest of the half-bowl of beef soup.

The amount that she drank was not less than Honest Monk, but she did not show the least bit of reaction. Obviously she had taken the antidote.

Xiao Yu laughed and said, “The beef soup is seasoned with the Monk’s spittle, I wonder if it tastes better?”

Beef Soup shut her mouth.

Xiao Yu said, “Actually, you should be happy. No matter what, Monk’s spittle has always been hard to find.”

Beef Soup coldly said, “I am very happy, I am happy as hell.”

Xiao Yu laughed and said, “It’s good that you are happy. I was afraid you might be unhappy.”

“And now, are you going to let me go?” Beef Soup asked.

“No,” Sha Man said.

“What else do you want me to do?” Beef Soup asked.

“Strip,” Sha Man said.

“Strip?” Beef Soup said, “What do you mean strip?”

“Strip all your clothes,” Sha Man said, “Anything that can be stripped must be stripped.”

Beef Soup’s countenance changed again; she started at her hatefully. Sha Man remained emotionless. Her hands were still playing with the steel wire. In her slender hands, the tough and durable steel wire was as pliable as a strip of cotton yarn.

Beef Soup turned her head toward Lu Xiaofeng.

Lu Xiaofeng was laughing; his laughter looked a bit like an idiot!

Other than laughing, he seemed to have nothing better to do. Although he did not pass out, his response was very slow.

Sha Man coldly said, “You don’t need to look at him, it’s not that he had never seen you naked.”

She was still jealous. When a woman is jealous, usually she cannot speak reasons.

Beef Soup began to strip.

Xiao Yu laughed and said, “She strips very fast.”

“Because she is used to doing it,” Sha Man said.

Xiao Yu sighed deliberately; she said, “I just wondered why she has never caught cold.”

Beef Soup did not seem to hear. When she was dressed, she was a good-looking woman, after she stripped, she looked even better.

Her legs were very straight, exceptionally sturdy. Her skin was smooth and tight. When she put her legs together, not even a finger would be able to penetrate them!

No doubt she was the kind of women who can make men lose their minds. To this fact, she was also very confident of herself.

Xiao Yu sighed again. “Excellent body,” she said, “If I were a man, I would have been fainted by now.”

“Too bad you are not a man,” Sha Man said.

Xiao Yu laughed and said, “Fortunately I am not. But neither are you!”

Beef Soup suddenly said, “But both of you are not women either.”

“We are not?” Xiao Yu asked.

Beef Soup said, “If you really want to be a woman, you still have a lot to learn.”

“Can you teach us?” Xiao Yu asked.

Beef Soup stared at her. Her eyes suddenly shone with strange expression, her eyes were brimming with some kind of unspeakable desire.

For some unknown reason, Xiao Yu’s face suddenly blushed.

Beef Soup softly said, “Why don’t you strip too? Let me teach you.”

Xiao Yu felt her mouth dry; she could not even speak.

Beef Soup walked toward her slowly, her hips swayed in some exotic, almost evil, cadence.

Suddenly there was a flash of cold light, coming straight toward her breasts. The steel wire was stretched straight, just like a sword, but was sharper than a sword.

Beef Soup leaped up and made a back flip in the air; her most secret place happened to flash right in front of Xiao Yu’s face.

Her legs were straight, but an even more straight and strong steel wire suddenly turned into a whip, sweeping horizontally, coiling toward her legs. She pulled her legs in, suddenly she landed behind Lu Xiaofeng, her palm pressed on his Yuzhen [jade pillow] acupoint.

“You move, he die.”

Sha Man did not move.

Xiao Yu did not move either. She stared at her naked body as if she was bewitched.

Beef Soup laughed. Squinting, she looked at her and said with a laugh, “Xiao Yu [little jade], little darling, I like you, I always like you very much. Do you remember that when you were little, I used to carry you to bed?”

Xiao Yu’s face was even redder, but she involuntarily nodded.

Beef Soup said, “If you kill Sha Man for me now, I will like you even more.”

Xiao Yu hesitated. She looked at her eyes. Her eyes were filled with evil, erotic charm.

Suddenly Xiao Yu threw herself at Sha Man, lightning fast she made her move; she snatched the steel wire from Sha Man’s hand.

Evidently Sha Man did not anticipate this move at all; she did not guard against her, even more, she did not imagine Xiao Yu would be able to move this fast.

The steel wire immediately changed hands. With a flash of cold light it suddenly pierced toward Beef Soup’s throat.

This move was even more unexpected, and was even faster. But Beef Soup was not taken by surprise at all. Pulling herself back, she hid behind Lu Xiaofeng!

“You really want him dead?”

Xiao Yu did not dare to move.

Beef Soup slowly stood up, her laughter was even more joyful. “Now, can I have you do something for me?” she said.

“What is it?” Xiao Yu asked.

“Strip,” Beef Soup said. Her eyes shone. “Both of you, strip all your clothes,” she said, “Anything that can be stripped must be stripped.”

Xiao Yu turned her head toward Sha Man. Sha Man’s face was still pale.

“I’ll count to ten,” Beef Soup said, “If you still have not stripped, there will be a dead person in here.”

She started to count already. “One, two, three …”

Xiao Yu already began to strip. Sha Man had no choice but to comply. Both knew that she dared to do what she dared to say.

She was counting fast, their movement could not be not fast.

Beef Souo giggled. “Turns out you also are used to stripping.”

After saying that, she continued counting, “Four, five, six …”

Suddenly Lu Xiaofeng reached back, with his fingers he pinched her wrist, and flung her over his shoulder. Just like a dead fish she fell heavily on the floor.

He should not be able to do it so easily, but she was inevitably a bit too complacent.

One should not be too complacent.

Xiao Yu pounced on top of her. Using her knee she pinned her waist down, and then with a laugh she asked Lu Xiaofeng, “Why did you wait until now to make your move?”

Lu Xiaofeng chuckled and said, “I was going to wait until she counts to ten.”

Sha Man pursed her lips; she glowered at Lu Xiaofeng, but her pale face was blushing a little.

Perhaps Beef Soup was dizzy from the fall, it was half a day later that she finally opened her mouth. She laughed aloud and said, “Are you all going to rape me?”

“I am not interested,” Xiao Yu said, “I don’t think he feels the need either.”

“In that case,” Beef Soup said, “You’d better let me go now; otherwise, you won’t be able to escape either.”

“Oh?” Xiao Yu said.

Beef Soup said, “If he didn’t see me for a while, Jiu Ge would look for me everywhere. On this ship, where do you think you can escape to?”

Xiao Yu looked at Sha Man. Both of them closed their mouths. They knew she was telling the truth.

Beef Soup laughed again. With a tender voice she said, “Xiao Yu, little darling, quickly take your leg off, it tickles.”

Xiao Yu could not see Sha Man’s reaction, she looked at Lu Xiaofeng instead.

Lu Xiaofeng suddenly said, “Is there any lifeboat on this ship?”

“There are two,” Xiao Yu said.

“Are they guarded?” Lu Xiaofeng asked.

Xiao Yu said, “We can deal with the guards, but even if we manage to grab one, it will be useless.”

— Because none of them could deal with Ninth Young Master.

She did not say it out loud, she did not need to.

To get the small boat down to the sea, row it far away so that the big ship could not find it, it would need at least two hours.

Gong Jiu could not possibly give them two hours.

Lu Xiaofeng muttered irresolutely, “Right now the people upstairs do not know Xiao Yu has rebelled; if she wants to seize the boat, presumably it won’t be difficult.”

Xiao Yu said, “But …”

Lu Xiaofeng cut her off; he suddenly asked, “Around this time, where usually is Gong Jiu?”

“In his cabin,” Xiao Yu replied.

“Other than him,” Lu Xiaofeng continued, “Are there martial art experts on this ship?”

Xiao Yu shook her head and said, “He always come and go alone.”

Lu Xiaofeng said, “His cabin must be the main cabin on this ship.”

Sha Man suddenly rushed forward, “You … you are not thinking of looking for him, are you?”

Lu Xiaofeng laughed and said, “Actually, I did not want to go, but now I have no choice but go.”

Sha Man was even more anxious. “Why?” she asked.

“Because you have something you have no choice but to sell to him,” Lu Xiaofeng said, “And he does not seem to have any choice but to buy.”

“What is it?” Sha Man asked.

“A big bowl of sweet-smelling and rich beef soup,” Lu Xiaofeng replied.

Sha Man’s eyes shone. “What do you think the price will be?” she asked.

“My price is not high at all,” Lu Xiaofeng replied. He did not let Sha Man ask further, “First, put Beef Soup in the chest. As soon as I leave, you go seize the life boats. Both of them.”

Sha Man looked at him. Her eyes were brimming with concern. “Perhaps Gong Jiu does not want this bowl of beef soup, perhaps he only wants your life.”

Lu Xiaofeng laughed. “No matter doing what business, we always have to take some risk!” he said.

His laughter was not joyous at all, “As soon as you see Gong Jiu alone on the deck and don’t see me …”

“We’ll kill her right away?” Sha Man asked.

Lu Xiaofeng nodded slowly. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable in his heart.

He did not wish to take Beef Soup’s life at all, he did not wish the situation would develop to that direction even more.

Unfortunately, he did not have any leeway in this matter at all.

Sha Man could not help grabbing his hand and said, “You … when do you think you’ll leave?”

Lu Xiaofeng said, “As soon as Monk is awake.”

Sha Man forced a laugh and said, “Naturally we must wait for him to wake up; we need a man to carry the chest!”

Lu Xiaofeng also laughed, but his heart was jumbled.

He knew that it was not what she wanted to say; he could see clearly the fear and anxiety in her eyes.

But what else can she say right now?

Even though she knew that most likely this time they would part forever, she could only let him go.

Because Sha Man also realized that this time thet did not have any leeway in this matter at all.

Xiao Yu looked at them. She suddenly said, “Right now Monk is not awake yet, the chest is still empty; are you going to let it stay empty?”

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