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Laughter of the Sword God Chapter 13


Chapter 13 – Big Bass Drum and Embroidered Shoes


The woman who was going up the mountain was lanky, with long face, and eyes and eyebrows slanted upward. In her tough and heroic spirit aura, there was a bit of seductiveness. Although not beautiful, she was quite attractive. She was wearing a very short silver fox cape, exposing her slender legs, and sure enough, on her feet was a pair of embroidered shoes.

Such a slender woman, how come her footsteps were a lot louder than the Big Bass Drum?

There was only one answer to this question.

She did that on purpose; she intentionally flaunted her skill, purposefully showing off her martial art prowess.

The skill she trained was very special, plus it has been extinct from Jianghu for a long time, an external-type of martial art. When needed, the skill would enable the practitioner to make his body heavier than several-hundred-catty big steelyard.

No women have ever trained this kind of martial art, hence no women have ever trained it to perfection.

She has always been very proud of this.

Hence she was known as ‘Embroidered Shoes’.

Naturally it was not her real name, yet people who knew her have never known her with any other names.

As Embroidered Shoes went up the mountain, just like Big Bass Drum, she also brought some very peculiar things.

Naturally the things she brought were not food.

What she brought were a top-quality lacquered make-up chest, an ivory box of gambling instruments, including a set of marbles, a set of paijiu [pai gow], and a set of cards.

The most peculiar thing was that behind her followed a very pretty little boy, carrying a set of beautiful bedding and quilt.

Such woman was indeed very strange.


Ximen Chuixue was still looking at the boundless horizon, he still did not turn his head. Big Bass Drum’s face turned green, his eyes looked like a pair of belly buttons.

They all knew this woman’s background to the finest details. She was also one of the few super-assassins who in the recent years had risen in Jianghu. Only she had something else, a very particular skill, that not only the Big Bass Drum could not compare with, no one else could either.

It was said that the money she earned was more than the other three, four super- assassins, who enjoyed the same reputation as she did, combined.

What was the reason?

Seeing Big Bass Drum, Embroidered Shoes laughed; when she laughed, she looked even more charming.

“Dagu Xiong [Brother Big Bass Drum], others are saying that you are big-hearted and serene; you are indeed a relaxed and magnanimous person. Lately you are putting more and more weight.”

But Big Bass Drum sighed. “What’s the use of putting more weight? How much will I get for a catty of my fat?” He said, “To get rich, now that’s the real skill.”

“That is the truth.”

“I hear you are getting richer and richer,” Big Bass Drum said, “I hear that even several big-name families in Shanxi sometimes need to turn some money to you.”

“That is also true.” Embroidered Shoes sighed again, “Although having a lot of money is troublesome, who told me to be born to make money?”

Suddenly her expression turned very serious as she asked Big Bass Drum, “Have you ever heard that the money I make is more than all of you put together?”

“I have.”

“Yet you also ought to know that my price for killing people is not at all higher than yours.”

“I know.”

“Then how did I make more money than you do?”

She answered her own question, “Because not only I can make money, I can also earn money.” Embroidered Shoes said, “I am not like you, who are willing to do only the second oldest business in the world; even some kind of oldest profession in the world I also do.”

Big Bass Drum deliberately asked, “I know that the second oldest profession in the world is murder, but what is the oldest profession in the world?”

“Prostitution, naturally.” Embroidered Shoes’ countenance did not even change, “The oldest profession in history is prostitution.”

Big Bass Drum could only smile wryly, his smile did not look like he was about to cry, but it looked like he was about to vomit.

Yet Embroidered Shoes did not show the least bit of emotion.

“Whatever people want, I sell it to them. They want me to kill, I’ll kill, for seventeen thousand five hundred taels; as long as I have the money on hand, I guarantee a life will be gone, never fail.” Embroidered Shoes said, “They want to gamble, I’ll gamble. I always bring a set of cards with me. Whoever comes, I’ll serve him, as long as he has money to lose. Even if you get your money from digging your ancestors’ grave, I will win it anyway.”

“Good,” Big Bass Drum deliberately clapped his hands, “You have character.”

“People want me to sing, I’ll sing a song for them, five thousand taels per song. There is money, there is song.”

“Five thousand per song, isn’t that a bit too much?”

“Not much.” Embroidered Shoes said, “Not only it’s not much, my profit is a bit less.”

“Who would want to pay you five thousand taels to hear you sing?”

“There are many people like that.”

“Are they a bit insane?”

“Not at all.”

“Do you sing better than the others?”

“Not the least bit.” Embroidered Shoes said, “It’s just that I am very different from other people who sing.”

She asked the Big Bass Drum, “Just think, if those newly rich people, whose belly is full of fat and oil, are able to invite one of the world’s most famous killers in their festivity and sing a song for them, won’t it give them a lot of face?”

Big Bass Drum sighed, “That is very true.”

“If they give you five thousand taels, would you sing for them?”

“I won’t.”

“Then, do you think five thousand taels are too much?”

“Not too much.”

“Therefore, I make more money that all of you. It is the heaven’s will and the earth’s intention.” Embroidered Shoes said, “Besides, I am also willing to accompany people to bed.”

“I can see that.” The Big Bass Drum let out a wry laugh, “You even bring your own bedding.”

“That’s right. Bringing my own bedding is not only cleaner, it is more convenient as well.” Embroidered Shoes said, “You want to sleep with me? You can. Seventeen thousand five hundred taels. With money at hand, I will take my pants off.”

Big Bass Drum was shocked, “Sleeping with you is the same price as killing people?”

“Of course it is.”

Big Bass Drum looked at her, up and down, down and up; he shook his head theatrically, “Now that, I cannot see.”

Embroidered Shoes was not angry, “I understand what you mean, although I cannot be considered ugly, my beauty is not worth seventeen thousand five hundred taels.” She said, “It’s just that …”

“It’s just that you are the renowned Embroidered Shoes.” Big Bass Drum finished off for her, “Famous women, even if they are a bit ugly, and a bit old, there are still a lot of old suckers with more money than sense who would be willing to be duped.”

“You got that right.” Embroidered Shoes said, “We can be considered people of the same trade, if you want to call on me, I can give you a ten percent discount.”


The sky gradually turned dark, the night has arrived. Ximen Chuixue was still sitting alone, motionless. Embroidered Shoes lowered her voice to ask the Big Bass Drum, “Who’s that?”

“You don’t know who he is?”

“I did not pay any attention.” Embroidered Shoes said, “Just now I only paid my attention to you.”

“What about now?”

“A man, who is neither a stone statue nor a wooden man, sitting without moving over there for a long time, even if I wanted not to pay any attention, I just can’t.” Embroidered Shoes said, “Besides, every time I cast a glance or two that way, I always felt a bit cold.”

“You clearly have noticed who he is; let me ask you a question then.”

“Go ahead.”

“You came here, was it because someone hired you to kill?”

“You’re probably right!” Embroidered Shoes said, “That person paid me seventeen thousand five hundred taels, most probably it was not to accompany him to bed.”

“Do you know who is the person he wanted to be killed?”

“I don’t.”

“In that case, you’d better pray to God quickly.”

“Pray to God for what?”

“Pray that God will bless and protect you, that your client is not insane, that the person he wanted you to kill is not him.”

Embroidered Shoes followed Big Bass Drum’s gaze. That man was still sitting alone on the rock.

“Why not him?” Embroidered Shoes asked, “Who is he?”

“Ximen Chuixue.”

Embroidered Shoes was dumbfounded; she was aghast.

Ximen Chuixue?

She never thought that just a person’s name would make her that terrified. In all her life, she did not seem to be afraid of anybody. Yet right now she suddenly felt terribly cold.


In the boundless night, the white clothes Ximen Chuixue was wearing looked even more like snow.

Just then, two palace-style lanterns suddenly appeared in the dark. A man with his hands behind his back was walking behind the lanterns, his entire clothes was unexpectedly also as white as snow.

The two palace lanterns were carried by two beautiful women dressed in palace attire, their long hair loose like clouds, they had slender waists, long legs, their manners elegant; although they can’t be considered choice-palace-beauties, they must have been trained by ‘professional lady’.

Not only they had beautiful appearance, their skill was not bad either; otherwise, how could they walked up the mountain peak in the night?

Other than this kind of skill, their other skills must be not bad either. Therefore, their worth must be exceptionally high.

The man in white who followed behind them was a white-faced young man; his clothes were as white as snow, his face was as white as his clothes.

Around his waist was a jade belt, on the belt was a sword; both the sword and the jade belt were equally priceless.

Embroidered Shoes asked Big Bass Drum, “What do you think of that person?”

“That person is very handsome, very good-looking, not only he has style, he is also lordly.”

“And he has money.”


“And so he is your client?”

“That is also correct.”

With a wry smile Big Bass Drum said, “Coincidentally, my client is also him; therefore, I have already prayed to God long ago.”

The young man smiled. “Fortunately, I am not asking you to kill Ximen Chuixue!” He said, “Only lunatics would want you to kill Ximen Chuixue!”

Embroidered Shoes seemed a bit unconvinced.

“You think Ximen Chuixue will really not pay us any attention?” she asked the young man.

“That’s not what I meant,” the young man said nonchalantly, “I was just saying that if right now I insist on you two killing Ximen Chuixue, I am sure that you’d kill me first.”

He added with a faint smile on his face, “Killing me is definitely a lot easier than killing him.”

“That’s right.” The silent Ximen Chuixue suddenly opened his mouth, “Killing you is easy, killing me is difficult!”

His voice was ice-cold, “It’s a pity that they can’t kill you either!”


“Because as soon as they make their move, they will die under my sword.”

“Your sword? Where is it?”

“I have it.”

“How come I do not see it?”

Ximen Chuixue did not reply. He did not need to. His sword, why would he want other people to see it?

He and his sword, who could possibly see them both?

Ximen Chuixue only asked the young man, “You said you don’t want them to kill me? Why did you want them to come here?”

“Because I wanted you to know, I am a person with high status, not only I can make an appointment to have you appear, I am also able to have two big names to open the way first and wait for me here.” The young man in white said, “I know your eyes are way over my head, but I want to at least let you understand that I am not that simple.”

“Are you saying that you spent that much money to get them here, just to make me understand your status?”

“That’s right.”

“In that case, why did you, a person with high status, come here?” Ximen Chuixue asked, “Why did you make an appointment with me here?”

“What do you think?”

“The way I see it, based on your martial art skill, you come only to deliver your life.”

The young man in white laughed aloud, “A person like me, young, have a lot of gold, handsome, elegant and unconventional, plus I have a important identity and high status, not to mention rich, if a man like me wanted to die, I am afraid everybody in the world would have been dead.”

It was the truth.

“I came here, just so that I can borrow your sword,” the young man in white said.

Ximen Chuixue was silent.

He was silent, simply because he did not know what to say.

After being silent for a long time, he finally said one sentence, “My sword can only be used to kill people.”

He was silent for a long time before saying that sentence, just because it has been a long time since he said more than one or two words.

When he was young, he used to talk a lot. When he was young, wielding a sword he killed people and crisscrossed Jianghu unhindered; as he spoke those words, it was like gold and iron grating each other, not much of heroic spirit.

But in the young man in white’s ears, not only it was still full of heroic spirit, it was charismatic as well. He even applauded.

“Good, a hero’s sword, if not for killing people, could it be for killing pigs, killing dogs?” The young man in white said, “I wanted to borrow your sword, it was exactly to kill someone.”

“Kill who?”

“Kill someone who want to plot against Lu Xiaofeng’s life.”

Lu Xiaofeng, how long has it been since he met Lu Xiaofeng? Ever since the battle on the summit of The Forbidden City, many years have passed.

A sword moving to the east, the immortal flying to the outer space.

The famous hero of the past, where has he gone today?

Not only Ximen Chuixue did not have any tears in his eyes, his expression turned even more grim; he coldly told this young man in white, “If you want to kill someone who wanted to plot against Lu Xiaofeng’s life, you shouldn’t have come to me.”


“Because that person’s target is Lu Xiaofeng, not me.” Ximen Chuixue said, “That man and I are completely unrelated.”

He told this young man further, “If you want to kill him, you just have to find someone.”


“Lu Xiaofeng.” Ximen Chuixue said, “You want to find the adversary who wanted to kill him, naturally you have to find him.”

Not only it was a true statement, it also made sense.

The most important point was: “Lu Xiaofeng shoul be able to take care of himself, there is no need for me to put my hand to deal with it.”

“If this is something that he can’t handle by himself?”

“Then he should just go ahead and die.”

“If I forced you to handle this matter on his behalf, would you also want me to die?” the young man asked Ximen Chuixue.

“That’s right.”

“Do you want me to die right away?”

“That’s right.”

Ximen Chuixue’s answers have always been like that, always been simple and straightforward, precisely like the sword he used to kill.

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